i've decided to do this despite personal protests

2001-04-07T04:05:00.000-05:00

i love to listen to you talk when you are falling into sleep, as if inspired by the dreams you're about to have.

2001-04-06T19:33:00.000-05:00

some little girls (4 or 5-i'm guessing) just came to my door asking if i could retrieve their balloon from my porch. after i gave it to them one girl asked if i would be her best friend. ...i now have a very short, but cool new best friend. (how could i refuse such an offer?!) i am happy to pronounce my life complete.

2001-04-06T19:20:00.000-05:00

i find my way, only to find myself lost. my human nature shines bright reflections in a glass soul. do not be fooled by its solid cover.... you commend me for being strong but, i only see opposition. complication is my WHOLE name at least i find it somewhat humerous a friend of mine once told me that being brave wasn't going into battle ready to fight, but fearing battle and fighting anyway.

2001-04-05T15:32:00.000-05:00

(cont)...written later in the day... i want what i don't - never displace a thing. i revel in your creation, and it brings tears to my eyes. LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL!

2001-04-05T15:30:00.001-05:00

i want to take in the whole world, with just one breath. (....that would be a big breath) i want to fly, i want to wrap my arms around you, i want to be anywhere but here...

2001-04-05T15:30:00.000-05:00

i could paint you, -beautiful colours- and i'd be painting forever.

2001-04-04T20:39:00.000-05:00

p.s. i did not do these all today. ...actually i am a genious with super powered neurons travelling at law defying speeds throughout my brain. this is what allows me to think as quickly as i would have to to write all this within a couple of hours. nevermind.

2001-04-04T20:30:00.000-05:00

i feel like crying... what provoked this? oh yeah, -YOU- i know your intentions aren't to spite me, despite that, you did. and subliminal acts, arent so subliminal to me either. (why are you so stupid) ........you aren't stupid... still, as looks can be deceiving not everything is how it seems. here is something for you to mock!

2001-04-04T19:07:00.000-05:00

somehow it has seeped into my mothers mind that buying me beauty, through orthodontics, will make me happy. she is only buying me pain. society is convincing indeed. *indeed* and i have no power in this autocratic home, ruled by dictator mommy, so i conform.

2001-04-04T19:05:00.000-05:00

i can't wait 'til you get home so i can talk to you on the phone (hey that kind of rhymes) i'm a poet and i didn't think i was (?) ........oh well, better luck next time

2001-04-04T18:54:00.000-05:00

the fruits of my labour done but to no avail YOU ARE FOREVER DISCONTENT

2001-04-04T18:52:00.000-05:00

my parturient thoughts grow within me, begging to be let out- put down, painted on some canvas, ...somewhere. and if there is no canvas to be found i shall paint on whatever is within my grasp, and in doing so i repeat this vicious cycle, relating and expressing isnt that the point? sometimes it makes me laugh. so simple, yet so wonderful a plan. only you!

2001-04-04T18:50:00.001-05:00

my alarm sounds promptly at 5:46. i find comfort in that extra minute.- and if i feel adventurous i might set if for 5:47

2001-04-04T18:50:00.000-05:00

death, the shadowy whisper of permanence, said in a whisper to somehow (in vain?) dilute the concentration of it's meaning

2001-04-04T18:49:00.000-05:00

a flame kindled in my stomach explodes as i leap. it is nurtured as i turn. outside, my hair follows behind me desperate to keep up. i won't wait. -second arabesque- i can't wait. port de bras sashe double turn... until i stop... and it falls gracefully upon my face, as relieved as i am satisfied. ......but not for long :)

2001-04-04T18:41:00.000-05:00

my computer relentlessly follows my words as i type careful to point out any mistake i might make this is for you... ...fajiotughakdfutgeoiautwtjriaotuiaotyhieaoutoieoieeothieahdiautieo;uhaihtieoaaahtgoiatyheiaohtgeoihtuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayieohatieahgkdghoeiathiahgioureatoiyhrakjgh;jfnvkfjagaoiuretoithikajhet843thuiiiiibae6huinwuwu75buhkosp437swbg5v8islruruv57v57v576b9ut8w9g6nboirvtyghb7yv666iowerw89bv4iorrrrrrvawuboiooove89tytytytytywbiotrwvbeuithuithowvuitrbvywrrrutiuibtwvyui6yt48 (that was more fun than it should have been)

2001-04-04T18:38:00.000-05:00

he said he didn't know about whether or not he liked my writing he said he liked things to be formal who sets the standards for what is formal? well i can accept that but i disagree

2001-04-04T18:36:00.000-05:00

your beauty overwhelms me catch me as i fall -my weak knees- fall for you

2001-04-04T18:32:00.000-05:00

a crystal prism dangles on a clear cord from a ledge above my window casting profound light- nostalgic hues on my tired walls. He said, "There shall be light." and i've been excited ever since

2001-04-04T18:30:00.000-05:00

my stomach goes wild every time i think of you

2001-04-04T18:29:00.000-05:00

my mind is full, fat, and bloated again with watery thoughts. they run through me, but collectively gather in a retained puddle somewhere. it could be extraordinary- even life changing. i wish i could throw them up, sort through the bile, and have something physical- more obvious to analyze.

2001-04-04T18:27:00.000-05:00

we painted lovely pictures until your brush ran dry leaving me a grey smear across your canvas nothing lasts forever "Castles made of sand, fall into the sea, eventually."-jimmy hendrix

2001-04-04T18:24:00.000-05:00

slowly but surely i'm figuring my way around all this fancy website business. ....after trying to post something ten times. slowly but surely wins the race. just remember that.

2001-04-04T18:23:00.000-05:00

blah- this word has negative connotations, but don't assume what is implied. i say it with much positivity.